piano man

Shuffling along he spouts music theory
To a bus of obviously uninterested people
But the piano man plays on
A horrid stinch of a hard life and alcohol pour from every key
The women beside him slurs her words but malice can be felt
it's clear their history
He has led her to the bottom and her anger holds her there relentlessly
He patronizes her with old bible scriptures of the nativity story
She spits and raises her cane as if to strike him in disgust
She has fallen into womens historic problem
Believing in the brillance of a man to her demise hoping desperately he will fullfill his promises
In the end nothing but pain has come to furition
The piano man plays on seeming not to notice
Concrete wisdom that now without status falls on deaf ears
A rambling bafoon
To be chastized like a dog for the rest of his life

needle park

Corruption spreading like a disease
Baby who are you trying to please
With your hand on your knees
Oh I know that disease
Where do your morals lie
Only concerned with your piece of pie
Hey baby I'm just tryna get by
Yeah and I'm trying to die
So what do you supply
Sinking into empathy
Pill popping Johnny sold  that girl without sympathy
and the doctor said I can't help her without money
Bills to pay and people to impress slow that car down honey
Another dead girl to read about
Another dollar to sing about

shirt to give away

Im leaving you in the past
Where you belong if we are being fair
But love isn't fair is it?
Worn shirts with too many holes in them
 A comfort I can't let go
It's time for a new season
For snow to fall and presents to be unwrapped
but I'm stuck in the blaze of summer
Sitting on park benches drinking 40s
Talking about how great life has been and where the stars are going
and I can't let go
But it's time, time to leave yesterday and live today
and become who I'm meant  to be for tomorrow
I can't do that wearing this old dingy shirt
who now belongs to someone else
and maybe, just maybe, they wear it better
but before I let you go
I'll nustle my head in your soft fabric
Smell your masculine scent
I'll keep all the good times
and conviently forget the bad
Yes, yes I do believe it's time for a new shirt
One that fits all of me
And wants only me
A shirt to wear through all the coming seasons and not just sunny days
That doesn't wear too much and gets better with time

coming home

woke up before the sun
feeling well rested but never slept
in a room that I felt trapped in
sophicating smothering seduction
called my mom told her I was coming home
to lay my head down and submerge myself in unconditional love
theres nothing here for me
but late nights and bad decisions
I called my mom
told her I was coming home
 where my heart is
where I want to be

physically friends with no benefits

I thought having sex with you would satisfy some deep desire
I was wrong
the action itself was enjoyable surfacely
but that fades immediately after we roll over to our perspective sides of the bed
I hoped it would change
I would wake up and feel like I did back when we first went down this path
That person I don't know nor remember
but I recall the feeling of wanting you
only you
late nights envisioning your smile
now the thought makes me uneasy
it takes me longer then usual to get in a space where I can tolerate you
old wounds heal but still scar
visual reminders of how this path hurts
and it ends with nothing but scars to gain
you with your smile and wit
draws me in like a moth to a flame
I am ashamed
I shouldn't have looked back over my shoulder
I should have kept running

Indie vagabond

She who is dirt poor with a wealth of knowledge
carrying a bag of sunshine in her pocket
as rain drops drip down her legs
spent her last token on her word her bond inked on her body
looking at art can suppress the hunger
some angelic friend will feed her
drug her
make her forget and remember
what's important in life
the love you share
the love you create
mystical beings that stomp through the concrete jungle
they kiss you on the forehead and sprinkle glitter on your cheekbones
it's no wonder you are the happiest vagabond I know

coffee shop melodies

In the city where I came into being
listening to a local artist sing alongside his daughter
melodies of a beautiful life and dreams
he sings to me
this city can trap you, but leave you breathless
wondering where time went
reminiscing on times when we woke with the rising sun
to watch power rangers save the world on the small screen
a time his daughter will never know
its' 2012 and the days speed past us
the end of another month
I ask myself where did it go?
live in the moment
because regrets of the past will haunt you
live in the moment
because yesterday soon will be forgotten and tomorrow isn't promised
so sing to me today in hopes I will never forget

morning rainsong

I woke up to the rain pounding the pavement
streaming out of the storm drains
ting, ting, plop, plop, ting, ting, plop, plop
I took it in in one breath
rolling over tucking my chin deep into my pink sheets
I should be like the rain
filling the world with mellifluous music
instead I take a peppermint bath
sinking deeper into the chorus of nature
what will become of the day
I do not know
but I will take it on with an innate since of calm

Tequila mockingbird

Long walks under the  moon when the lights turn out
empty rooms vacant where love was once found
Tequila mockingbird
Just for those deep emotions to be heard
hiding under the cover of strength
we all become naked under the laws of a fifth
He asked me what I'm sippin on
while I laid on his front lawn
a little taste
a little something for those tears to waste
too proud to say I miss you
 to proud to say it's not just you
independence can leave you lonely
a cold heart not concerned with what we should be
a family broken
two paths unkindly chosen
a ripple that effects things that can't be seen on this  night
thoughts that will reveal themselves once I take flight
my heart wasn't ready for this change
tequila mockingbird the adult way to mask this pain

handshake with my vices

Forgive me body
For I have trespassed against you
"Do it Do it" she whispers
Temptation feels good
like getting fingered under the table in public
oh but I shouldn't
inhale relief exhale health
Tobacco old enemy dance with me
"sniff some more who are you to fight me"
my vices are the only thing that invite me
excite me, ignite me
Forgive me body
my youth says I'll live forever
recklessly if I have to
a slave to the fire's light
please want me and touch me like you mean it
desperation picks at my skin
Oh God I can't stop
Forgive me as I get entangled with my struggles
it feel so good to drown my sorrows
to drown in my sorrows
Forgive me  body this won't be the last time

southern summer

Scorching hot babes bask in the summer sun
naked skin polishing the grass
the heat picks their faces and melts their skin
toxins drip off your fingers and the land has a drink
a dip in the pool to keep your mind cool
your lungs feel heavy
this hell shouldn't feel so good
you think as you lick vanilla ice cream off your thighs
you are never to old to run after the ice cream man
here comes that boy from down the street
his tattoos glisten like a picture book
I wander if he'd like to take a plunge in the depths of my desire
summer madness ravages your loins
sweet apple pie oh me oh my
I'll eat you another time
tonight the ladies will be free to do as we please
daisy dukes and a chilled beer never go out of style
our grown up mask dissolve once the sun sleeps
the time has come to dance and sing
let's see what this summer moon will bring

night worrying

Birds opening for the beginning light
its 4 am
I don't know if it's worry or insomnia
but my eyes refuse to close
I have doubts
doubts that play violent scenes on the blank tv screen
should I have let you go gallivanting into the night
my age shows in these shadows
is this what motherhood feels like?

night breath

It's nice to sit in the middle of the road
when all the world is deep into their subconscious
dreaming is living living is loving
just breathe in the still energy of a summers night
clear your thoughts and focus on the magnificence of your breath

perspective

Through the looking glass I see
high cheek bones and big dark eyes
covered with endless dark chocalate skin
a big smile that brings my eyes to slits
with teeth that gleam but could be whiter
flurescent in appearance would be nice
nothings ever good enough
tiny little breast that already hang in my youth
thighs built for running marathons
but lack in actual muscle ability
big trunks with little branches
that sprout form the end like a tree standing on its' branches
skin riddled in history lacking an even smooth texture
but that's alright with me
through the looking glass i see all the things I am and all the things I want to be
my reflection tells a story of triumph
running through life barefoot and blistering
hoping not to step on glass
pulling it out with my teeth if i do
I've gotten lost and made my way back home
In a cycle of too much time and a restless spirit
with a bag full of stories and my back a little stronger
walking tall on the sunny side of the mountain
I  follow the fire the emperor of yang
wherever it burns
save your comments, thoughts, perspectives, and judgements till the end
I don't care and neither do they matter
for I doubt we see the same thing
and the only thing that matters is who do I see?
through the looking glass I see all the things I am and all the things I want to  be

painting with my heart

The back story to this painting
behind the lines and imagery
deep meanings of cultural anomalies
underneath the shades of discretion's
one thing so obvious that escapes the eye
LOVE
simple but complex
an incomplete puzzle of emotions
the reason behind the madness
is the love I have for you
but since my mouth can't form the words
or maybe my heart can't release them yet
I hope you stare at this painting long enough
I hope it says all the things you can't say as well
I hope you decipher it and all you see is
LOVE

elderly man

Once a brilliant mind of society
now looked over no longer a commodity
yesterdays news
an ancient artifact that can only be viewed in certain settings
behind smudged plexi glass
I fear the days coming when I'm passed over
identified as senile an decrepit
elderly minds once revered as a beacon of great wisdom
As someone who has survived great travesties
my mind an unexplored territory of world history
poor old man greeted with irritation
he keeps dialing, but no one answers
he sits babbling in confusion
compassion has no room in a busy office
fixing the sick instead of nurturing the spirit
we slowly wither away
dropping off each a wilted rose pedal

many men to love (how lucky am I)

He smiles with joy radiant as the summer sun.
when he sees me coming.
gives me a big hug like he hasn't seen me for weeks.
then nestles his face in my hair.
how could I not love you?
He has olive skin and long dark hair.
little wisp and curls that dance around your head.
as you strum melodies on a guitar.
he made with his own two hands.
not afraid of perseverance your a hardworking man with a plethora of talents.
you say things like "I want to provide for you".
as you intertwine your fingers in mine.
how could I not love you?
you with your rockstar effortless looks .
gave up dreams of excess and materialism .
to live simply amongst the energy of the mountains.
basking in the delights of a stream flowing .
freely through crevices of stones. twinkling like crystals.
I'm sure he calls it making love.
the he moans with ecstasy from the slightest touch.
a girl can always tell how many lovers a man's taken by his presence.
it means nothing of your technical skills .
but how comforting it is that you have had few and have chosen me.
how could I not love you?
I guess your not the one.
YOU with your wealth of knowledge.
it seems yo have whole books memorized.
on subjects I don not think to ask.
in your company I feel like a philosopher.
two intellects enjoying fine wines and witty banter on a candlelight forge.
how could I not love you?
laying beside you under the winking eyes of the spirits.
wrapped in a blanket.
wrapped in the warmth of the fire.
watching the smoke from the wooden pipe.
escape your lungs.
inhaling your sweet breath.
as we lay on top of sleeping bags in a tent mansion.
cricket chirp music to our sensuous rocking hips.
i scream overcome with pleasure.
a bit too loudly for our camping companions.
how could I not love you?
you introduce me to all your friends with such pride.
a nubian princess gliding through the sand .
saving me from the secrets of my mind .
as I explore other realms.
all the while you were there stroking my hair.
giving me nourishment with every motion.
how could I not love you?
i guess your not the one. him, he, you.
with him time escapes me and has no bounds.
I've dreamed of him since I was a little girl.
even then he was a beautiful creation.
a statuous golden brown sight of deliciousness.
I wanted to devour you.
hit you over the head with a club and drag you back to my layer.
but I could barely bring myself to speak to you.
now we are older and converse on many things.
a friendship that bloomed in late summer. unexpectedly.
then blossomed into nights that seem to end too fast.
our lips barely part before the sun wakes up .
oh him. all I've ever wanted.
but don't pay my love any attention.
I stare at my phone hoping you will call.
my eyes water in vain.
how could I love you?
how did you trick my heart into only yearning for you.
even with he and you I think of him.
I wonder what you're doing wishing I could be apart of it.
melting into a puddle of emotion thinking of him with her
how could I love you? i don't know i just do

childhood memories

Demons of childhood well up inside your spirit
a pain you can't control
bubbling over seeping into your adult world
it hurts for reasons you can't remember
unaware and exhausted from trying you push insecurities down
hoping you can squeeze it shut
you pull out a warm comfort from beneath your costume
bottles and needles ecstasy in forgetfulness
childhood fears lead to adult coping
if only you could face those feelings
in your mind this battle has already been lost y
our bleeding out of open wounds now
one word that can make you squirm one sentence that knocks you on your ass
childhood memories suffocate you

An astrologer once told me
this this occupation wouldn't be enough for me
I'm beginning to think he was right
this restless feeling bubbles up inside me every couple of days
stirring my soul with questions over and over banging against the walls of my mind
who did I help today?
what have I accomplished?
inevitably this leads to who am I?
what is my purpose?
questions with no answers questions I don't think I will ever solve
I remind myself to just be
take in existence and lie in the beauty of the world
but what if that's not enough
what if I want it all some strange all encompassing desire I can't seem to ever feed or satisfy the torture of my mind

i smoked a newport today

a stolen dress red lipstick stained coffee cup a long awaited cigarette in a coffee shop I once called home it's the little things a once scowling girl wears an unfamiliar smile and I love it

a particularly horny day

whisper my name ask me if I like it
I need to be fucked like pull my hair slap my butt fucked
throw me against the wall bite my breast sweaty heaving fucked
I’m going to bust and it’s almost to0 intense fucked
on the carpet wrist bound screaming so the neighbors know your name Fucked
half off the bed trying to catch my breath fucked
I can’t wait pull my skirt up in the bathroom bend me over and teach me a lesson fucked
don't forget to lock the door (wink)
meet me in the backseat of your car OH MY GOSH your dick is so big fucked
it feels like my second time not to much pain but a little tight fucked
body quivering leg spasm was that an multiple orgasm
someone help me I can’t think of anything else I need, my body needs to be FUCKED (screams)

still operating in violence
the barbaric human mind
chants on with blood stain lips
and the heart of many beating in the hands of 'world leaders'
what will our children say on dooms day
massacred at the mascaraed
what's the name of the mask your wearing today
a badge that gleams in the light
protect and serve
the reflections reads harass and provoke
even evil wears a slogan
"My God" says the burning man
"Why god" says the burning man
the first question of man kind
it seems we lost our space in paradise
suffer through this para dime

miss olivia

my best friend calls me and apologizes for being late
hugs me close when I have had a bad day
comforts me with her words of strength
holds my hand when I look away
my best friend is full of love and gives without expectation
saves me from the days villains
lights a blunt when there is nothing to say
she is the light at the end of dark hallways
the first blooming flower of the spring
the warmth from your favorite blanket
her constant love is what I breathe
my best friend probably doesn't know how much she means to me
how her small gestures fill the air with joy
one day she will come to know the beautiful women that exudes from her spirit
the women who fills the void

unexpected happenings

I woke up and and my house was on fie
the shock of everything
the blaze of chaos
I could only gawk at the walls
falling to ashes around me
I woke up and my house was on fire
and all I could do was stare
my water filled eyes twitching in the smoky haze
clueless as to what to do
I laid back down and hoped I wouldn't get devoured too.

fight

she pulls at the rope so hard drops of blood for rivers
gliding swiftly down her arms
the struggle goes on
her knees dig into the earth forming bottomless pits
still the struggle goes on
sweat pours from her temples choking her breath
the struggle continues on
she does not let go
she will not let go
even if her last breath is the weary grunt of the struggle

a day with you

I haven't seen you since the snow fell
and we were decorating trees with glowing lights
now the leaves are turning that familiar green
daffodils are sprouting
whispering wishes across the wind
I hope it reaches you
i hope it reaches you and you smile
butterfly kisses so sweet
time seems to be our enemy
I wonder what you will think of me
when I finally gaze at you again
I can't remember what your mouth taste like
but I hold on desperately to this feeling
this feeling that makes you all I want
just to sit in your lap and rest my head on your chest
I can't remember but I know I want you
I want to kiss you so much I'll never forget again
Fall into each groove of your lips
Feel the heat pulse through your hand
wishing we could waste time
sitting on the dock of the bay
humming tunes and watching the clouds tell stories
a day with you is what I'm dreaming of

childs play in the woods

playing amongst the dead leaves in the woods
on a peculiar warm winters day
it's nice to be a kid with you
no expectations
just long conversations on towering tree limbs
it's nice to sit here with you
Fuck with Dre day blaring
Today was a good day
i think flying through the air on a tire swing
it's nice to laugh with you

kava!

In a town where people move at their on discretion
on a wave length of spiritual discovery
everything fine, everything fine
an old man sit on a street corner down on his luck
shouting compliments at anyone with the compassion to listen
strangers smiling at strangers
connected to the infinite love that knows nothing of material abundance
your cup flows over
I'm alive watching you glide through this space
I'm alive watching the smile over take your face
beautiful goddess with ribbons that adorn her hips
swaying in the breeze to the beat of the earths core
flying east to get a glimpse of a slower pace
feeling the vibration run through her toes
meet me in the river naked under the king without his crown
lets lay in the sun and forget the day has begun

The rain was exactly what I needed
cleansing, moving the old and bringing forth the new
this dreary day has never looked so inviting
a peaceful wash of blue
the cold shaking you awake
the difference of cold to warm is chilling
the excitement of existence

a winters morning

the cold bites at my feet like hungry dogs
my eyes adjust to darkness while emptiness creeps from all corners of the room
I pull the covers tight around me but warmth never comes
the thought of getting out from under my cocoon sickens me
it is more dreadful then anything i can imagine
i grunt at the image of life
a winters dead icy hands the only thing that holds me now
depression seems like a dramatic label
happiness seems like a distant friend
she probably couldn't hear me through this wind
or see me through this rain
starring out the window wishing for a few more minutes of sleep
before I start this horrid day

failure

when everything starts falling
you wonder if your heart was right
is this where your suppose to be?
if so how do you stay?
rent isn't optional and it never stops being due
food is becoming scarce and you ponder on how to make something out of nothing
empty cupboards talk to your stomach in teasing tones
don't send me home with nothing but failures
optimism won't even let me weep
just hold on a little longer

a test?

all of us with our thinking faces
trying to do the best we can
searching our minds for arbitrary facts forgotten
we run after what was left behind
pins and paper
questions no answers
measuring my intellect with someones broken scale
I wonder what description of my self will this test tell
will it say how I stayed up all night comforting a friend
or my daily struggles to exude love
will it tell how I have looked fear in his eyes and stood strong
without a flinch of doubt
or will it tell a tale of how much pointless information I can regurgitate on paper
a story that will never be told again