the message of july 27

On days like this when the rain seems to be started my be
when feeling alone is a comfort i can't afford
unwanted and unloved
all the people all the hugs and kisses that i thought would be never ending
replenishble and always accessible
a love that would never wither
Why am I so easily let go
so easily forgotten
Did i leave your mind when i was gone he sings
i suppose i did
but you never left mine
I am reminded of you in everything
things as simple as a fallen daisy peddle
a joyous laugh from affair
loneliness is terrible
but to be left alone well that in unbearable
starting to feel like a mouse
living without a home
detested by everyone
inferior to all
forgotten in the holes of the earth
who could love a mouse?
Will a mouse ever be loved?
or just forgotten amongst the pages
message erased

the option

She was given a choice
would you like to meet your future self he said as the dark clouds formed overhead
and the wind made her pull her sweater closer
No she answered after a long beat
she pondered her words as she spoke them
I would rather be blind and go through the process of gaining site
Then to know everything but be unable to obtain wisdom

sunday night cigerette

the best cigarette I ever tasted filled my fragile lungs on a rainy sunday night
wearing your old tye dye shirt
i stood beneath its' sensuality
letting each drip slide down my legs with delight
between me
covering me
the rain gently singing the background to each thrust
your kisses landing on my terrain
I scream for you to keep going
I gasped for breath
a precursor to the best cigarette I ever had

sunday night cigerette

the rain falls softly outside the window
careful to not drip in the wine glass
it's already started my decent
one glass
two glass
three glass
floor
hoping you will come down with me
plead for everything
but instead finding and old friend in your place
intoxication overpowers articulation
this grass feels like the softest cotton
completing this false scene of romanticism
i wonder where you are

screaming no internally
your kisses are too breathtaking to deny
the blue man scoffs at my secret desires
he doesn't care about the reprecutions
he moans
until the yes smothers the no
even after he leaves me I hate to see you go
guilt ridden back aches
another sweet delicious mistake
that i will probably regret more then i can fathom at this very moment
like most of my impulses the conclusion is undesired

paper dolls

she sits with her round lips in a smile
her hands crossed cupping her innocence
and her wide eyes inviting you to play
toss her in the air
ruffle hr frilly dress
watch as her hair bounces wildly
pretty little thing
too afraid to make a sound
everyone stares enthralled past her silence
she doesn't notice
thrilled to be with you
happy to be in your hands
each finger a friend she never had
smile on pretty little thing
in your spot of solice
meticulously put in your place
carried, here
carried there
finally filling a meaningful space
until he tires of you
your dress now frayed
tattered
worn from too much fun
your face beggining to tell your long years of silence
poor paper doll
you stare down at her pitiful face
she looks so forlorn
haphazardly forgotten
the closet
eyes closed
lost amongst forgotten things
walling in the darkness
trying to find her friend
the one who use to hold her so tight
looking into the mind of her replacement
a new paper doll to be shoved around