I thought having sex with you would satisfy some deep desire
I was wrong
the action itself was enjoyable surfacely
but that fades immediately after we roll over to our perspective sides of the bed
I hoped it would change
I would wake up and feel like I did back when we first went down this path
That person I don't know nor remember
but I recall the feeling of wanting you
only you
late nights envisioning your smile
now the thought makes me uneasy
it takes me longer then usual to get in a space where I can tolerate you
old wounds heal but still scar
visual reminders of how this path hurts
and it ends with nothing but scars to gain
you with your smile and wit
draws me in like a moth to a flame
I am ashamed
I shouldn't have looked back over my shoulder
I should have kept running
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