a love lost

From the hopeful twinkle in his eye
You wouldn’t be able to see his pain his loss
The grumbling emptiness of his stomach still speaking of his abandonement
Far from the city of dreams
Unknowingly
Unexpectedly thrust into our bitter North Carolina winter
Speaking of a positive future through chattering teeth
I wish I had a home to give him
Instead only pocket change and knowledge of this city I call home
No one expects this he says but God will make a way
A man lost because of love
Given everything he had to a closed hand
She wipes her tears away in the warmth of her home
He wipes love away with a tattered sleeve
A dream deferred
A man abandoned by his so called love

unlit desperation

Sardines by candlelight
The cold wind whistles a sultry tune outside
I search for your warmth
Hands trembling
Desperation
Perhaps its too late
I sit on the cold ceramic floor
Warming myself by the candlelight
Flicker
Flicker
darkness

addicted to the night

I wish I could capture the vast beauty of the night sky
But there are things too wonderous for even our high def technology
The silence
The energy
Little pieces of sparkling wonder that will be here long after the last
Human breath
Infinite glory that surpasses time
I yearn for the prescence of the night
I marvel its reverence

danny sad eyes

Your so beautiful
Behind those big brown eyes
What do you hide?
Stone faced
Tilted lips
I wonder about envy and lust
The sight of you confirms their kinship
I just want you to give me a smile
So I can keep that jaded light
Such a rarerity as mutual feelings of
Love

black hole

I hear the good intent in her words
But the sadness shuts my lips too tight
I know it pains her to see me like this
But in my own self indulgence I sit in silence hoping that somehow
She will understand
That the lumps in my throat stifle me into non existence

ghost women

I see her wondering these streets often
Hunched over with time
I wonder if she is noticed by other wondering eyes like mine
If she is seen
Too old to be walking as often as I see her
Her destination seems unknown
So translucent her existence
Its questionable
Maybe she is my fear haunting me
An old soul withering away
Forgotten even by death

untitled

He lies as easy as he smiles
My eyes strain against the smoke
Hoping it clears
Knowing it wont
Wanting desperately to be the one holding your hand
You let go as people pass
Excuses for the infidelity
Immaturity
Apprehension
Past alliance
In the end my love wasn’t enough
And still each moment is of you
You are my hearts desire

moon overhead

His head laying on my breast
Gently thumping each heartbeat
The wind cooling our passion flowing effortlessly through the open car door
I sink into your arms with the moon bright overhead
The night covers my vulnerability
As doubts fill my head and creep unto my face
Are you just another?
Playing through the labrinyth of my heart

the message of july 27

On days like this when the rain seems to be started my be
when feeling alone is a comfort i can't afford
unwanted and unloved
all the people all the hugs and kisses that i thought would be never ending
replenishble and always accessible
a love that would never wither
Why am I so easily let go
so easily forgotten
Did i leave your mind when i was gone he sings
i suppose i did
but you never left mine
I am reminded of you in everything
things as simple as a fallen daisy peddle
a joyous laugh from affair
loneliness is terrible
but to be left alone well that in unbearable
starting to feel like a mouse
living without a home
detested by everyone
inferior to all
forgotten in the holes of the earth
who could love a mouse?
Will a mouse ever be loved?
or just forgotten amongst the pages
message erased

the option

She was given a choice
would you like to meet your future self he said as the dark clouds formed overhead
and the wind made her pull her sweater closer
No she answered after a long beat
she pondered her words as she spoke them
I would rather be blind and go through the process of gaining site
Then to know everything but be unable to obtain wisdom

sunday night cigerette

the best cigarette I ever tasted filled my fragile lungs on a rainy sunday night
wearing your old tye dye shirt
i stood beneath its' sensuality
letting each drip slide down my legs with delight
between me
covering me
the rain gently singing the background to each thrust
your kisses landing on my terrain
I scream for you to keep going
I gasped for breath
a precursor to the best cigarette I ever had

sunday night cigerette

the rain falls softly outside the window
careful to not drip in the wine glass
it's already started my decent
one glass
two glass
three glass
floor
hoping you will come down with me
plead for everything
but instead finding and old friend in your place
intoxication overpowers articulation
this grass feels like the softest cotton
completing this false scene of romanticism
i wonder where you are

screaming no internally
your kisses are too breathtaking to deny
the blue man scoffs at my secret desires
he doesn't care about the reprecutions
he moans
until the yes smothers the no
even after he leaves me I hate to see you go
guilt ridden back aches
another sweet delicious mistake
that i will probably regret more then i can fathom at this very moment
like most of my impulses the conclusion is undesired

paper dolls

she sits with her round lips in a smile
her hands crossed cupping her innocence
and her wide eyes inviting you to play
toss her in the air
ruffle hr frilly dress
watch as her hair bounces wildly
pretty little thing
too afraid to make a sound
everyone stares enthralled past her silence
she doesn't notice
thrilled to be with you
happy to be in your hands
each finger a friend she never had
smile on pretty little thing
in your spot of solice
meticulously put in your place
carried, here
carried there
finally filling a meaningful space
until he tires of you
your dress now frayed
tattered
worn from too much fun
your face beggining to tell your long years of silence
poor paper doll
you stare down at her pitiful face
she looks so forlorn
haphazardly forgotten
the closet
eyes closed
lost amongst forgotten things
walling in the darkness
trying to find her friend
the one who use to hold her so tight
looking into the mind of her replacement
a new paper doll to be shoved around

Exes of times past

In a land where everyone's trying to get over some one
where can I stand?
unsteady ground with no one to walk on everything looks different without the bright lights and glistening carpet
all word are lies with out love
worth nothing more then the penny used to buy them
I struggle to find some place to squeeze my thin frame
voluminous and burdening in this land
In this land with no place to stand.