The longest night

Emotionally naked and exhausted
Sick with helplessness, stuck in confusion
Because I saw you there
 Laying on the cold filthy checkered floor
The white spots now turn to grey
Wetness dampens your corduroy pants
A puddle of urine accumulates under your limp body
I wanted to cradle you in my arms
I couldn't bare to watch your descent
Young queen whom I barely know
Don't be scared of enlightenment
Fighting the truth will leave you screaming for a savior
Hush, hush I know the feeling
Is this it? Is life really this simplistic?
Will we be together in the end?
Will God forgive me for killing apart of myself?
No this is not a dream sweet thing
Push through the darkness to be born into light
Glistening gold flecks in the air
Catch your strength and never let go
There are things that want to devour you  in slow miniscuial bites
But salvation is merely a step away
Forget their doctrine they use to keep your spirit in a box
Don't run from me I'll be here tomorrow
waiting with a smile
I'm neither friend nor foe
I am you

rain smell

Listening to Baths rain smell
Remember the heart ache I felt 
I kept the song on repeat that night 
As if it could wash away the pain
But the distress was too deep to reach
So I laid my head down on our burgundy couch and covered my vulnerability
Now here with you I hear the familiar tune and tears well up in the sullen pockets of my eyes
Before I realized they were there 
You wiped wiped them away
Put your arms around me and told me
"I never want to see you cry"
it was in that moment I realized how lucky am I 
to know real love now 
I'm not naive enough to think you won't ever hurt me
But that you care enough to try not to 
Tells me you are what I need 
And I your faithful pupil are more then ready to learn 

you win

Sex with you is like running a marathon
The whole time I think who will reach the finish line first
Because I hate running
I decide to let you have it
 One because your faster
Two because someone deserves some satisfaction for this fucked up situation
This race use to be so invigorating
I would have run against you for hours
But now I close my eyes
So you can't see the secrets of my emotions
And I can continue this charade of love

womanly love

Tell me about her, the one you love
It is as if her soul traveled from the motherland
Bringing ancient wisdom and compassion
Her skin glistens like the chrystalized ground of Africa beating songs of the sun
Her voice is soft and timid which she never raised even in confrontation
I'm overwhelmed by the wave of her smell
It draws me in like a moth to a flame  intensifying my feeling of wanting to be nearer to her
I am encompassed  by my desires
 To feel her mocha cheek nestled against mine
Our thighs dance ribbon patterns
As our lips seal the ends
I get lost in her pools transfixed by her beauty
I stiffen my legs unable to relax afraid of this being our last time
Afraid that I would be a slave in these pools unable to free myself of her love
What if she were to leave you?
I'd drown, not wanting to be saved
The memory of her would torment my  days
Loneliness would devour my hand
And I would give into hopelessness
If someone so kind and so ethereal couldn't love you
Then who my dear will stay

my last breath

As I lay sleeping deep into the night
The angel of death came for me
My eyes grew heavier then they ever were before
As if they were closing to never be open again
I felt strangely at peace with this realization
My body was overcome by a massive energy
And I began to ask God for forgiveness
I asked the universe to direct my soul to it's next plane
And to not let me fall into the tight grip of evil
With my last breath I prayed for God's mercy and thanked her for the life I have lived
A smidgen of nervousness crept into my heart as I prepared to leave my body
Let them know I loved them Let them know I cared enough not to want to leave
Inhale
Exhale
Then my eyes opened and I was very relieved

Red koolaid

A little ashamed to say 
I drank the koolaid
I didn't take small sips either
But gulps that went down too easy
Tasted the sweetness and I was instantly addicted to it's sharp tang
I conldn't get enough
It was as if I had never had something so invigorating
So infinitely delicious
I thought how could I go on without this
how had I lived before
This elixir seems to have brought color to my life
 A magic that helps to keep me going
 But over time I realized 
It was just like everything else
Colored water I had drunk before 
Just as now I thought I couldn't live without it
High above the clouds I'm still alive and life is just as good
If not better free of imitations