(I was sitting, waiting, wishing) then finally dreaming

I want you here so bad
I thought I heard your voice
but 20 steps later there is nothing
silence in the absence of you
and it screams so loud
I touch myself to fill the space with something
Anything
Anything to keep my eyes open
hoping to see you walk through the haze
don't make me wait in vain
don't make me wait in pain
for your love

The evolution of language

That hard er stings a little 
surprises me, when I read old literture
how ugly people were
the evolution of language however, couldn't be more beautiful
because now it's a word of endearment
 subtract the er add an A
the modern nigger is a nigga
descendents of the first man
 surviving an attempted anihilation
to bring light and wisdom to the world

disappearing acts of heartlessness

It's as if our loved dissipated overnight
the sun set and it was gone
So many people will tell you they love you
They can't be without you
you complete them
8 months down the line this isn't good for them
As if you don't need the sun to grow
I would do anything for you
 Crawl outside myself and give my heart to you as it beats in my chest
my whole being in your hand
 so  you could know what love is
But you can look me in the eye and throw me away
So easily like the epiphany you created
I don't need you, my friends are right
But I want you
I want you so badly my sobs choke my throat
my lymph nodes are sore with sadness
and my eyelids heavy like gold stacks refuse to see the light
But the love I need
wouldn't leave me
Hasn't ever left, it sits here in my spirit
so when you left me, in the same fucking room I've been left before
me and love weeped for ourselves

girl in the window

I had a dream about you
you were standing in my bedroom window naked
On the outside looking in
I laid there starring at your bare breast
the moonlight illuminated them with a blue haze
spotlighting your nipples
which were hard like tiny pebbles across the sand
I imagine myself taking one of them in my mouth
perfect gumdrops rolling around my tongue
you just standing there with this quiet peace
longing to be in the room
 I step out of bed my thin see through night gown falling to the ground
our gaze locked  inside the intensity of longing
watching every night
wishing you could, would climb through the window and whisper
"I want you more then ever before"
while sliding your fingers between my legs
But when I got to the window you disappeared
vanished in the moonlight
where you stood a pile of Sentimental roses

golden love

I called her golden child
because her skin glowed from a love that came from deep in her heart
it twinkled outward with passion
she was the object of beauty
with masculinity hiding inside
chestnut dripping in honey
self assured and confident
but yet meek at times
 the golden child adorned by all
for her lush supple lips and perfect smile
Can I lay between those lips for awhile?
or listen to them speak
If I was summer was she was fall
calm, cool, warm like a mother's womb
a magnificent site to behold
like the first golden leaves
God herself in tattered paint covered shirt  
I called her golden child
and made her my sun

dark matter

It tells me I'm worthless
It tells me no no one loves me
It tells me I have no friends
All it tells me is lies

Maybe I'm too much
too much and not enough
a  simultaneous fuck
 that will leave you alone
scrolling through the pictures on your Iphone
living vicariously through your social media
they all smile when they see ya
but where are you when I need you
this winter

electric dolls

So busy staring at the crowd
You forget what the musics about
pretty girls lined in a row
all scarred to breathe and let their feelings show
you paid two hundred dollars to be seen
but desperations stinks after awhile and everyone smells what I mean
No need to breed jealousy
just let go and live the fantasy

Two strangers share a common thread

for a moment in time

differing ideologies  met at the intersection of

GOD is LOVE

naively comfortable

I'm comfortable with you now
And by that I mean I realize your not a leaf blowing through my life
experiencing me and all my wind
Then packing your bags writing a goodbye letter to leave at the edge of our bed
I'm comfortable with the fact that I look forward to seeing you when i pull in the driveway
Hugging you hello then rolling over to lay beside you
So now it's finally time for me to put my things away
Take the cat out of the suitcase and introduce her to her new home
It's time for me to hang things on the wall that represent us
Create our space a space we both love and want to come home to
I'm comfortable with you now, but am I too comfortable?

past moment in love

The mist falls forming tiny crystal balls in your dreads

I remember the times I would nestle my cheek against your wet beard

Scratch your chin and kiss your little ears

Your scent a mixture of cocoa butter and incense encircles me

like long arms wrapping themselves twice around my body

I lay back at peace and fall into your chest

As you stroke my head and tell me dreams and desires

This is a moment I miss 

This moment with  you

We use to take long walks the street lights our stars

talking about the mysteries of the IChing

gazing upon the water smoking a blunt 

This serenity wasn't always there

but this, this is a moment I chose to remember

I can't recreate them or relive them

So I'll take a piece of that pie

and only recollect how sweet it all was

let me go love

Imprints on my heart

memories I can't drown

feelings I can't escape

What happens when you say forever, now you want it to end

I can't love you anymore  

I have someone who will hold only me at night

Someone who doesn't lie when I inquire about where they ae

muffled voice

a girl I can't name

if your words weren't real

if they were empty 

Why can't I let them go

These factory words sit on an empty heart

holding space for something that could be all I need

Everyone is so concerned with falling in  love

I just want it to let me go