i want to hold your hand

The road stretchs infintely ahead of us
uncomfortable silences hold our words captive
with everything I can't say
I glance over at you beckoning with my eyes
sex now not a mystery a goal I have already achieved
unsatisfying like a single drop of water on a dry throat
I yearn now for your hand in mine
intimacy the separation of love from lust
the feelings I feel for you
but a young galliant heart riding the wind
wildly without a second thought seldom thinks of deeper connections
who am I to tell you to give up your freedom
give up hot bathroom rendevous for movie nights and cuddle times
just that ten year old girl waiting to catch your eye and slide
this road is more treachorous then you are willing to take
less traveled often abandoned
empty hearts lay trampled heaving slow pumps
barely beating left to suffer at loves grasps
this end maybe tragic
two lovers lying dead in the catacombs
one holding a bottle of poison one with a bloody knife in hand
but the journey to a where their lips met
so powerful and all emcompassing
im sure they would choose this road again
I stare ahead wondering if the end of our road could be better
well i'll wipe the tears away later if only you would hold my hand

moby

my first real masturbation was to moby
i thought i heard the shuffle of angels feet
inspired by distance and jealously
I wanted to please myself
while you tickled other girls fancy
I pushed thoughts of you away
as i pushed my fingers deeper into the soft wetness of my womanlihood
and it felt so good to make myself moan for the first time
showers upon showers of blessings
and just for a tiny moment I didn't need you

living inside a glass house

she lives in that beautiful house on the hill
houses that look like brick
strong in standing and sturdy
but if you look closely it is only glass
an illusion of strength
can't be blown down but easily broken
glued pieces of structure wear thin
a lamb in wolfs' clothing
maybe it's something I did last december
pity I don't remeber
every rising sun brings a new day
but some hold on to the vices of yesterday
how lucky it is to forget
when I don't have the words I just sit silent
but when silence sickens you is it fair to drown people in your words
vacuous to them
but I couldn't hold the silence hostage forever
no answrs under my peeling skin
just a dumb girl who doesn't know where to begin
don't beleive anyone would listen anyway
this glass house can't stand forever even if no stones are throne

4 am rain

The rain falls late into the night
the tv cutts itself off, probably for the better
darkness reminds me of the vacancy in my room
now all I can think about is you
I wish you could hear natures music
drumming against the roof
your thumb rubbing against the back of my hand
the gentle touch of love
comfort and happiness
the soothing gaze of your closest friend
I want that with you
I could never tell you such hidden feelings
other men I could handle
but rejection from you would bring too many tears
none am I willing to spare
wet streaks of heart ache across the pavement
no I couldn't bare
instead I will just watch my fantasy play out behind my closed eyelids
to the tap tap tapping of the cool night rain

secret starbucks lovers

The scowling lesbian types angrily in the corner
probably love notes lost to her husband
full of more passion to her secret lover
not so secret to those with open eyes and alert noses
peeking threw the glass at the parking lot
someone once told me somebody is always watching
I guess I am the somebody

love at dawn

We stayed up to watch the sunrise
because I couln't part with your smile
I wanted to watch the world wake from your chest
kiss your neck with morning dew
how could I resist such lips dripping sweet
thick with youth
like they have never been kissed before
needless to say I missed the sunrise
I looked up and minutes had passed
minutes I did not feel
the sun was up and I couldn't believe the experienced we jus shared
mouth gaping open
I had no words and I had to let go

There will be days

There will be days
he said with an half smile
deep sunken eyes you could fall into
get lost in the paridime for days
there will be days where its hard to greet lifes challenges
your tears choke your throat into closing
and you hit yourself for fear of hurting someone else
your eyes will fight to stay shut and refuse to open
there will be days
when someone you loved and trusted will stab you in the back
when you question yourself and your morality
I lowered my eyes in guilt
apprehensive about what would be said next
he took my hand in his, rough with time, and smiled reassuringly
but dont lose faith in the gooodness of your heart
because for every one of those days there will be days that the sun couldn't shine brighter
and your soul couldn't fill warmer
as you float above all the problems you once had
and they fall to your feet in ashes
and those are the days you live for